Tag: queer

Essay, Writing

Queer Identities & Generational Tension

I’ve been pondering these tensions about queer identities. Sometimes people deny other people’s right to particular identities, consider them appropriation, or try to erase them entirely. When I was in my early twenties, we were having eerily similar arguments, over different identities, with the generation that came before us. This is how I am coming …

Essay, Writing

Trans/Masculinity & Safety

TM's Improved Chest

I had my top surgery (ish) in 1997. I dreaded puberty, and breasts, as a child. I hated them from before I even got them. By the time I had them removed, I’d been binding with duct tape for a long time. Duct tape binding prevents breathing well. I was often dizzy. I fantasized about …

Essay, Writing

Stone Does Not Melt. Even If It Really Likes You.

I have written about what my stone butch identity means to me. In general, I try to not police other people’s identities*. I believe that queerness benefits from inclusivity of all sexuality and gender non-normative persons. Although I have both personal beliefs about various identities and sociological analyses of various identities, I try to save …

Essay, Writing

What Queer Means To Me

People often ask me exactly what I mean by ‘queer’ and why I distinguish it from ‘lesbian’ or ‘gay’. This was my response, and this is what queer means to me: Queer is typically used in two ways: 1. Queer is used as an umbrella term to try to include everyone who isn’t entirely normative …

Essay, Writing

I’m Afraid Of The Toilet Police

I’m really fucking tired of this toilet issue. I know that you are too. The difference is that I’ve been tired of it for twenty years. I’m really ready to move on. I will move on, just as soon as I can safely use a public toilet. I posted last month about being violently attacked …

Essay, Writing

My Other Self Is Burying Our Gays

My other self is on tumblr. My other self follows (mostly) twenty-something lesbians who love television. I didn’t think much about how different my tumblr self is from my other social media self, until a friend recently started following me on tumblr, and I realized how strangely different I must seem on tumblr, to a …

Essay, Writing

What Stone Butch Means To Me

I identify as a Stone Butch. Stone Butch, like everything, can mean different things to different people. Wikipedia defines Stone Butch as: “A butch lesbian who tops their partner sexually and is averse to sexual contact with their genitalia. Instead, sexual satisfaction is often derived from giving rather than receiving sexual pleasure. Unlike many variations …