One of the greatest untruths that we commonly accept is that old dogs can’t learn new tricks. Not only is that entirely untrue for dogs, who both can learn and enjoy learning new tricks, throughout their lives, it is untrue for humans as well. My father, as many of you know, was raised in the …
Tag: memoir
That Boy I Kissed
Once upon a time, I kissed a boy. He was a beautiful boy. He had my brother’s name, Matthew. That year, my ninth grade year, our school had outdoor halls. We had a smoking cage. I had one friend. She was small, but so formidable that for the first time, I had no fear. Pyng …
The Girl In The Pink Tutu, Or My Patty Hearst
In the fall of 1997, I lived in a flea infested, two bedroom apartment, just off of campus. We’d turned the dining room into a third bedroom, and hung blankets from the ceiling, to wall it off. The third person got us down to $250 a month in rent. We’d also nailed blankets up over …
Escape (In A Chrysler Valare)
I only applied to one college. It was the cheapest school in the state. I just looked at the prices, in the big binder, found the $2400/year tuition, and didn’t look further. Afterwards, I learned that it was an alternative school. People kept warning me that the girls there didn’t shave their legs. I didn’t …
Straight Shooting
The end of that gravel road always seemed to smell like lilac. The lilac grew up against the doorframe and hung over my head. There was a dogwood in the yard too. My dad showed me the petals, told me how to recognize a dogwood. They’re still my very favorite tree. We moved into that …
It’s You, Frankenstein. Welcome Your Monster.
I notably lack empathy for humans, but roadkill makes me cry. I mean, that opossum has a mother, and that raccoon has a family. I’m told that humans also have these relationships, but I suspect that’s fake news. We lived in the woods when I was little. Well, that’s not entirely true. I was born …
We Need Champions: Violence, Intervention, & Us
It’s so fucking hard to intervene. By hard, I mean that it’s fucking terrifying. Especially when you’re someone who is sometimes targeted yourself. You may be someone who has been beaten yourself. Someone who knows that people want you dead. It’s the scariest thing in the world. You might get beaten if you intervene. You …
Time
I was raised in a house of clocks. They counted the hours, minutes, and seconds of our lives in steady, unchanging beats. They all chimed the hours, and the half hours, and the ship’s clock chimed the quarter hours too. Most of the clocks are antique. My father winds them weekly, with old keys that …
Standing Up To Pee
It is awesome to pee standing up, and my dad is super impressed by it. While I have had many fans of my upstanding peeing, he’s the biggest. But, I’m getting ahead of myself. It’s just a cup, and a tube. It seems simple, but once, in Cuba, I tried to make one out of …
Athens
I usually travel alone. For years, my friends prioritized responsibly, and couldn’t find the money to join me in my travels. Now, they either don’t have the time, or have graduated to roller suitcases and rooms with en-suite bathrooms, things that wouldn’t be my style, even if I could afford them. I like places where …