This essay appears in the 2017 anthology #MeToo: Essays About How and Why This Happened, What It Means and How to Make Sure It Never Happens Again, edited by Lori Perkins, under the name Jude M. Lucien. I’m reading lots and lots of experiences of harassment, assault, and rape. These things are always wrong. They’re …
I had my top surgery (ish) in 1997. I dreaded puberty, and breasts, as a child. I hated them from before I even got them. By the time I had them removed, I’d been binding with duct tape for a long time. Duct tape binding prevents breathing well. I was often dizzy. I fantasized about …
In 1997, when I was 21, I came out of a diner restroom, looking forward to my tator tots, and was physically attacked by a very large man who, as he put it, didn’t want a faggot in the bathroom with his girlfriend. He was huge. I remember that his shirt was plaid, and red. …